Come Out of Hiding

I’ve been hiding. Fear of people’s opinions and judgement held me like chains — unlocked, but not yet shaken off. Free to leave the prison, but not placing my feet in front of the other to step to the other side of the bars.

There was a time not so long ago that I was bold in sharing what God had been teaching me and how I had seen Him move in both miraculous and tender ways. But like Jesus warned in His gospels, where there is radical faith, persecution of various kinds will arise. The comments and offense that many people communicated caused confusion and hurt.

Was I meant to pursue relationship and hold back my passions? Or was I called to have courage and keep expressing what God has placed deep within my soul?

I’ve heard many teachings challenge believers to search their motivation for having courageous acts of faith and boasting about it to others. They say to beware of those who share testimonies openly because they may be trying to attain attention rather than giving glory to God.

But God recently placed Matthew 5:16 upon my heart which has brought clarity to my mind and calls me to action.

“Let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” ~Matthew 5:16

Jesus calls us to be seen. To never put our light under a basket.

Moses had glorious encounters with God on Mount Sinai, recorded in Exodus 34, that left his face glowing with the radiance of God. When he hiked down to share what Yahweh had revealed to him, he covered his face with a veil to dim the light shining from him. God did not tell him to do this. He did it because the people couldn’t handle the fullness of the light.

Sometimes we are tempted to dim the light God has placed within us for fear of being seen by those who cannot handle it’s fullness. But Jesus had another plan in mind.

It’s not ungodly to be seen. It takes a great amount of courage and vulnerability at times to let our light shine before others that they may glorify God with us. But the question is this: are we engineering being small, or are we willing to ignite our passions and gifts like a flame? Our need to be accepted can make us invisible to the world. It can make God’s light in us invisible to those around us. Let us be bold. Let us risk being seen and activate our God-given gifts.

One way to discern what light/gift God has placed in us is by looking at how we grew up and areas that we may have been gifted in, but were attacked by the spiritual enemy. I always struggled with using my voice, though I often felt I had something to contribute. I’ve always been visionary and had a big imagination that God would speak directly to, but all throughout my life, I frequently found myself starting to share my opinions, desires, or concerns, and being cut off, talked over, or nobody seemed to hear me. Over time this made me feel invisible or unworthy of being heard. It was no one’s intention of doing this to me, but the enemy has a way of whispering lies into our ear when he knows that we carry a light or a calling in a particular area of our life.

Where we are most persecuted is where we may be called to shine.

 

“But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.” ~2 Corinthians 4:7

Sometimes we become cracked and stained and believe we are less effective as God’s vessels. But the cracks and stains are exactly what qualifies us for His work. We — who are ordinary, weak, and shattered — cannot claim glory for ourselves, as we do not carry sufficient strength to be continuously faithful, overcome obstacles, and extend the love of God to those around us. Only through intimate relationship with our Maker can we sustain this sort of lifestyle. And His grace and loving kindness meets us when we fail.

A few weeks ago, I repented to my husband for putting a veil over my light, even hiding from him. I grew up hearing that the passage in Ephesians 5 (talking about husbands being the head of his wife) meant that husbands were dominant over women, called to be spiritual leaders of the family, and wives were called to let him lead her without contributing vision or initiation of spiritual practices. But this interpretation is taken out of context to the rest of the letter to the Ephesians. Perhaps our modern day, Western culture has shaped the way we view this passage. Throughout the entire epistle, a theme of unity with God, Jews, and Gentiles unfolds itself. In chapter 5:21 it says “submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ…” If the point of the whole book is to encourage unity and oneness between previously hostile people groups and unity and oneness with God, wouldn’t it make sense that the author was also communicating unity and oneness within families in a culture where women were not valued as equal? Chapter 5:25-33 progresses into a body analogy: the husband being the head of the wife, Christ being the head of the church. Perhaps the point isn’t who is more important or dominant over the other, but rather that we are connected as one and we need each other to function in our unique giftings in order to be most effective. This idea of mutual submission continues in verse 31 saying “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” When two people care and honor each other equally, both of their needs will be met entirely.

This understanding of household unity liberated me to realize that I was not utilizing the gifts God had placed within me in front of my husband because I previously thought he was meant to be the initiator and leader of our spiritual life. But Leen reminded me that I have been gifted as a visionary, overflowing with ideas for ministry, and he has the gift of putting practical action to those thoughts. Where I am weak, he is strong. And where he is weak, I am strong. And where we both fall short, God’s grace is sufficient.

Now I am learning that letting my light shine empowers others to shine their’s. Why hold back?

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This life, this year, this day is full of endless unknowns, limitless possibilities. Will I run? Will I explore?

This body, this mind, this soul is flowing with vision, with creative opportunities. Will I hide? Will I seek for more?

Throughout this life this body will venture into unknown territory.

This year this mind will burst with imagination and serenity.

This day this soul will show herself and her wondrous creativity.

I give myself permission to embrace ideas and newness.

I give myself permission to be visionary.

I give myself permission to venture into imagination and wonder.

I give myself permission to be seen.

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” ~Matthew 5:14-16